The Pole Dancing Mom: What will the other moms think? By Ashley F.

by | May 31, 2023 | Blog

The Pole Dancing Mom: What will the other moms think?

By Ashley F.

The ‘Pole Dancing Mom’ is the title I earned once I decided to do what makes me happy without worrying about what anyone else may think. I used to fear this title; it seemed like a label. Now, I wear it proudly. But when I first started, I was afraid of what the other parents, specifically the other moms, would think of me if they found out I was a… *gasps*… pole dancer. Because of the stigma attached to pole dancing, I was worried people would think I was a bad mom. So I used to hide the fact that I pole dance for fun. I wouldn’t talk about it with anyone outside of my studio, and I certainly wouldn’t post about it on social media. But pole quickly became more than just fun; I found my passion. It is the first hobby I took up and did not quit. In fact, it kept me coming back for more. It sparked a fire in me that I had never experienced before. So to have to hide something I was so involved with and passionate about, out of fear of what others may think, was challenging and draining. And the irony of it all is that part of the reason I took up pole dancing was motherhood.

When you have a child, everything changes. Your purpose changes, and you make the commitment to love and care for another life and devote the rest of yours to doing the best you can to love, care for, and guide them. Parenthood quickly consumes your entire being. My life used to revolve around nothing but changing diapers, bottle feedings, baseball games, cleaning up toys, and bath time. And while I love my kids more than life itself, I felt completely lost with who I was as an individual. When someone referred to me, I was ‘Trevor’s mom’ or ‘Olivia’s mom’. I felt like I no longer had an identity outside of my children. And at the time, I didn’t realize how detrimental that was to my mental health. And so I decided it was time to find an outlet—something that did not involve my kids and allowed me to focus on me. I found Pole to Pole Fitness, and it was love at first spin.

Pole and motherhood actually have many things in common, one of them being that they are not for the weak-minded. Both will test you—your limits, your patience, time and time again. Pole and motherhood have both, at some point in my journey, left me wondering, ‘Am I cut out for this?’ The answer to both is yes. Being the ‘Pole Dancing Mom’ does not make someone any less capable of being a ‘good’ mom. For me, it has actually helped me grow and evolve as a person, which has helped me become an even better mom. And when I saw how much better my life became because of how much better I felt as a person, I didn’t want to hide it anymore. I no longer felt like I needed the approval of others to tell me I am doing a good job. Social media is full of people posting about things they love, things they’re proud of, and want to share with the world. So why couldn’t I do the same? And so I did.

I had a lot of reservations about starting pole dancing, and they all started and ended with what other people may think. I would say to myself, ‘I’m a mom now, so I should look and act like it.’ But who decided what that looks like? Some moms wear business suits, some wear apple juice-stained t-shirts, and believe it or not, some of us wear 8-inch heels. Being a

‘good mom’ isn’t defined by what someone likes to do in their spare time or professionally; I believe it starts from within. How could I be the best version of myself for my children if I wasn’t the best version of myself for me? Taking up pole dancing helped me become just that. The stigma affiliated with pole dancing may never completely go away. But we can start by normalizing that, in any capacity, pole dancing is still a sport, and while some are Soccer Moms, some of us are the Pole Dancing Moms. And both are something to be proud of.”